Felines are Minions of the Antichrist

I’M JUST GOING TO EXPLAIN ONCE AND FOR ALL WHY I HATE CATS
let’s just take a minute to recognize that cats always leave the house. know why? because they secretly hate humans. they jump out windows or go through their little cat doors and leave and wander around your entire fucking neighborhood, conspiring with the other cats. and they only come back when they get hungry. what does that tell you? cat owners are slaves to their cats. they just don’t realize it.
that’s how smart cats are. they hate you and enslaved you without you even realizing it.
ever watched a cat ‘sleep’? they’ll lay down somewhere, looking like they’re sleeping, but their eyes will be open. this is when they are using their advance intelligence to plot world domination.
I SWEAR
we spend millions of dollars on space research, trying to find the aliens that could potentially invade. we come up with these crazy ideas of zombie apocalypses. we believe that monkeys are the second smartest animals on this earth, therefore they are what we should worry about most. we even have this crazy ass idea that 12/21/12 will be the end of the world (which i really hope it wont, cause that’s my 16th birthday…)
but when it comes down to it, there is only one creature we should fear taking over: cats.
even hitler was scared of cats.